Thursday, January 21, 2010

the orgasmatrain limited special el nino edition 01.21.10 noon to three



the mermen--100 foot lemon (new from "in god we trust")
BABY GRANDMOTHERS--SOMEBODY'S CALLING MY NAME (FORGE YOUR CHAINS)
bevis frond--high in a flat

OLIVER LAKE/NTU--AFRICA (FREEDOM RHYTHM AND SOUND)
osibisa--rabiatu
stanley clarke--vulcan princess

THE NATURAL YOGURT BAND--PIPE DREAMS
LOS SILVERTONES--UP TIGHT (PANAMA 3)
ORCHESTRE POLY RHYTHMO--MEDE MA GNIN MESSE

wooden shjips--sol 07
MOON DUO--KILLING TIME
coa--intro/my right
LIGHTNING BOLT--NATION OF BOAR
venom--powerdrive

THE CLONIUS--ONE AT A TIME
bassnectar--impossible and overwhelming
PANTHA DU PRINCE--THE SPLENDOR
rufus w/ chaka khan--stop on by
DAM FUNK--LETS TAKE OFF FAR AWAY

kickbit information--schnellbedienung
the mermen--there is a door, it is opened, then it is closed (new from "in god we trust")


CAPS=KUSF CURRENT RELEASE LIBRARY
parenthesis=compilation title

1st Hour

2nd Hour

3rd Hour

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

another little gory story from the ohio frontier


i don't remember every minute detail of this gut wrenching tale of the native american's brilliantly creative methods of putting their enemies to death...but here goes...

simon kenton and a group of settlers and frontiersmen in late 1700's kentucky used to patrol the ohio river in search of immigrants in distress, hostile natives and wounded survivors of indian attacks. sometimes what simon and his boys found was enough to produce sickening nightmares for years.

simon and his men carefully approached what seemed to be a sleeping shawnee guarding the scene of a massacre on the banks of the ohio river that day, but our boy, the master frontiersman simon kenton noticed that the sleeping indian didn't seem to be um, breathing...the man from virginia strode through a beach full of horribly mutilated bodies and pulled the dirty blanket from the motionless form it concealed.

what simon discovered is what was described by alan eckart "simple, but easy to deduce". the dead man had been raised above a two inch diameter stake with about eighteen inches of it protruding above the ground, then dropped in a way that the who length of the stake was driven right up his anus on into his intestines. supposedly the man kicked a quite a pile of dirt with his heels, indicating that he had taken a very long time to die...

another good reason to LISTEN when people tell you to stay the hell out of their houses...

the crimes and righteous death of jacob greathouse, a dumb fucking redneck who should have known better...



jacob greathouse was a bad, bad man.

some of you who might have listened to my last show on KUSF (http://www.kusf-archives.com/2009/09/kusf-092409-12-3-am-dj-shekky.html) might remember that i made a reference to mister jacob greathouse sometime around the middle of the show. jake was a man to whom the natives living in or round the part of ohio i grew up in gave a grisly new meaning to the word "payback" somewhere along the ohio river in 1791.

you see, 'ol mister greathouse got it into his head back in 1777 to get a peaceful group of mingos drunk on some big island smack dab in the middle of the ohio river or yellow creek or where ever the hell it was in order to easily murder them for no good goddamned reason. to make a long, ugly story short, jake and his gang of snaggle toothed cohorts blasted the life out of each and every one of those thoroughly inebriated mingos but a few who managed to escape into the thick southern ohio woods...mingos whose numbers just happened to include the pregnant sister, elderly father and brother in law of the famous chief logan...known near and far over the western frontier as a "friend of the white man".

the snaggle toothed greathouse posse shot and killed logan's father in the back (shikkllimus) along with the brother in law...and when they were done murdering logan's heavily pregnant sister, this knuckle dragging clan of redneck raccoon skin hat wearing troglodytes cut the unborn baby from logan's sister's belly and left it hanging in what must have been a horrible, obscene mass.

now fast forward from 1777 to 1791. i don't recall the exact details of how the shawnees captured jake greathouse and his wife, but capture them the shawnees did, along with more white folks floating west on a flatboat down the ohio river than you could count on all your fingers and toes. back in those wild days, the mingos and shawnees counted themselves as pretty damned good friends, and the shawnees had not forgotten the story of how logan's sister had been wantonly murdered and desecrated. every last one of the settlers captured along with jake greathouse and his wife were severely beaten with hickory branches, burned alive and scalped.

mister greathouse and his wife?

jake greathouse was beaten like the scumbag hillbilly fuck node asshole that he was, and then tied to a tree by a cord looped around his bright red neck...as was his probably horrified , screaming wife. with the fourteen year old image of chief logan's pregnant sister still crystal clear in their minds, the shawnees sliced mister and mrs greathouse' bellies open just above the pubic hairs, and the loose ends of their guts tied around the tree. they were then forced to stumble around said trees until their intestines were wrapped around the tree trunk. mister greathouse apparently survived until all of his innards along with his stomach were wrapped around the tree but mrs greathouse croaked about halfway around.

the indians then stuffed the intestinal cavities of jake greathouse and his woman with hot coals and got the hell out of the area that had become as hot as a bean can full of fresh bacon grease.

are there important lessons to be learned here? probably. lesson number one-don't fuck with people who have mean, powerful and crazy friends.

lesson number two-don't let your balls turn soft like butter in the microwave when given a fine opportunity to take revenge for your friends.

lesson number three--it's all about creativity when it comes to send a clear message to your enemies that says "DON'T FUCK WITH ME OR ELSE".

i hope you enjoyed my ugly little history lesson. if you want to learn more about how the states of ohio, kentucky and indiana were wrested from the natives by glassy eyed redneck assholes, try giving "the frontiersmen" by alan eckert a read.

Monday, January 18, 2010

KUSF jukebox 8-10 pm sunday 01.17.10



loop--from center to wave
rovo--yvma
dee lite--music selector is the soul reflector
better daze--the process of elevation
slide five--streamline

the bevis frond--solar marmalade
galaxie 500--don't let our youth go to waste
jessamine--cellophane

andromeda--the day of the change
dick wagner and the frost--sunshine
the poets--in your tower
the sparrrow--green bottle lover
the blues magoos--i can hear the grass grow
steampacket 2--take her any time
the in betweens--girl, i am your evil witch man
the brood--you lied to me before
the other half--mister pharmacist
andromeda--old

burning spear--loving day
black uhuru--journey
ten foot ganja plant--the cyclops

tuba--theme from an underground bowling alley

1st Hour

2nd Hour

Thursday, January 14, 2010

the mail order love chicken (2008)



IT WAS AN EVENING dedicated to furthering my slow and painful healing process--picking away the edges of this awful bloody red patch of heartbreak scab i have left as a result of having my rope cut away while i was happily being dragged along the Highway of Love at a steady one hundred and ten miles an hour. the weekend had been dedicated to bad news, savage confrontations, mean spirited advice from well meaning and respected friends topped off by a fifty mile drive into the southern edge of northern california's ultra hippie kingdom at a place called "ectotopia" where i petted goats with tom bombadil and watched hippies shoot frogs between the eyes with bb guns.

i generally hate big movie theatres nowadays and pretty much all of the spew that emanates from the slime covered maw of the cesspool called hollywood almost five hundred miles to the south of the Flying Buffalo Ranch--but my mind needed at least two hours rest from thinking about the woman (and her new boy toy) that have been the source of all of my tears, agony and rage for the past two months, so i reluctanty agreed to make thirty minute bus trip into the financial district to see the new movie about the life and work of hunter s thompson with my longtime friend josh.

that's all well and good. i'm not going to tell any of you a damned thing about the movie except that i was very happy with it and have placed "gonzo" high on the list of movies that i would see again and maybe again after that.

i'll accept the right offer from the right woman for a movie date in san francisco...

speaking of movie dates, my tuesday evening on the town came to an end at yet another establishment i've learned to avoid during my twenty five long years here in Sodom of the North, mel's diner. now is not the time to go into the details of why the very idea of mel's makes me nauseous and angry, rather it is the conversation which ocurred in the booth behind us.

i hardly noticed the man who looked like a jesuit priest in his mid fifties and the well dressed young woman eating with him except that he was talking in a particularly loud and slow voice. he was not particularly odd looking in any way and there was nothing about him that suggested that he might have been a practiced pedophile or a man so desperate for teenage sex that he would place an order for a teenage whore from thailand. as the annoying mel's diner moments wore on, however, i noticed that our grey haired neighbor began to explain to his dinner date in his best sunday school teacher/mister rogers voice that she was now in america, and this is how we do things here, and everything was going to be OK.

the girl didn't do much other than giggle.

interesting.

this is about when josh began to notice the drift of mister "pimp" roger's conversation with the young woman whose face remained hidden from me throughout the entire conversation.

josh later told me mister rogers told the girl he was going to have her for dessert.

interesting.

what sort of strange and twisted human interaction did i bear witness to this evening? being newly single, i find it haunting that if i was indeed watching and listening to what i thought i was listening and watching, that men just but a few years my senior lack the social skills from which they are able to find a suitable sex partner here in the united states, on his own. what the fuck was going on here? i didn't see her face during the entire time i sat there and choked down my freeze frozen beef patty but it as obvious to both josh and i that this raven haired foreigner was considerably younger than "pimp" rogers.

has our man just returned from a vacation in southeast asia or central america and brought along a new chew toy for his hot dog to play with?

did he arrange a meeting with her from some secret web page on the internets and pay for her one way air fare from rio?

can lonely, desperate middle aged men just simply buy a young girl from any third world nation in the world nowadays and have her smuggled into california or even south central nebraska nowadays by simply clicking a mouse? one wonders.

perhaps the carefully spaced and clear words spoken by the man sitting in the booth behind us with a female some years younger than he WERE the calming words of some respected clergyman fresh from a three year mission in some poverty stricken hamlet in mexico or cambodia, who knows. many pure hearted and generous individuals have dedicated their lives to improving the lives of young people who lacked the good fortune of being born in what still is the wealthiest empires on the face of this planet.

but on the same token, many of those kind individuals have also been born with a penis that becomes somewhat elongated and stiff at the sight of some sixteen year old dark haired waif who barely understands two words of any language but their own and i'm thinking that my man "pimp" rogers having dinner tonight at the mel's diner on geary boulevard in san francisco is one of them.

after all, "pimp" rogers planned on having the black haired girl wearing a blue blouse as an sweet, brown after dinner snack. he said so himself.

somehow, for reasons i don't (and probably would refuse) to understand eavesdropping on this bizarre conversation has assisted my healing process.

i'm sure the love scab will still sting wednesday and probably the next hundred days after that but watching and listening to a man take desperate measures to jam his throbbing fifty year old member into the near-watertight virgin flower of a confused immigrant child makes me feel a hell of a lot better about myself today.

shekky's diet soda taste test




SHEKKY'S DIET SODA TASTE TEST

TOMMORROW AFTERNOON i am going back over to geary boulevard to visit my new dentist and her KGB trained medical assistant, and i just can't wait! the odds are that i'll be having a root canal surgery done, something i've been preparing myself for during the past five years. part of my careful planning in advance of this momentous occaision has been The Total Abandonment of Sugared Sodas in Favor of A Diet Soda Regimen.

phenylketonurics and aspartame sometimes do wonders when it comes to staying true to the original recipe of say, doctor pepper or some other goddamned corn syrup filled swill. i know this, let me tell you, since i can't suck down that wonderful thomas kemper ginger ale at a three bottle a night pace without the open hole in the top right hand of my mouth hurting like sixteen different kinds of sugary hells. since dental pain is such a horrible, horrible thing, i've taken the logical action. here's the results of my informal Diet Soda Taste Test, in order of the most to least flavorful.

#1-Diet Vernor's Gingerale in a CAN. this stuff has the same tongue biting snap and fizzle as the original and a cold can of this chemically enhanced elixir will slap you back into the default world in a hurry if you need it. it's good with cheap whiskey too, if that's your sort of thing. i've already schlurped down two of them just this evening before i started to hit the bottle of baily's sitting on my desk. bonus points: vernor's is actually OK warm, which is saying a lot for any soda.

#2-Diet Dr Pepper in any container. another synthetic go go soft drink whose taste and bitch slap quotient doesn't stray more than a few degrees from classic dr pepper recipe. diet doctor pepper was an important reason that blib blib and i were able to sit all day in the blazing high altitude sun watching trains roll past us by the dozens. it's no good with booze, though and just tolerable when warm. beware-the fountain version of this soda pales in comparison to anything masquerading as soda pop, naturally or artificially sweetened. bonus: if you drink a one liter bottle of diet doctor pepper, you will feel like you've just snorted a quarter line of meth.

#3-Hanson's Sugar Free and Diet Canada Dry (tie). give hanson's the nod due to artificially sweetened blended fruity flavors supported by the sting of sucker punch style carbonation where Canada Dry earns shekky's kudos because on a scale of one to five in the "tastes like the original" test, canada dry rates a seven. a citrus flavored hanson's might work with vodka where the diet canada dry is acceptable with the addition of nothing more than a jim beam. if you're going to use expensive whiskey in a mixed drink, get corn syrup sweetened sodas. there's just no other way. oh yeah, hanson's is decent warm while canada dry becomes a sickly flavored light syrup, sort of like a ginger-y karo's.

#4-Diet Pepsi and Diet Coke (tie). both of these titans of the soft drink industry have been doing the artificially sweetened no/low calorie thing for eons now, but there's nothing about either offering that makes me want to piss out a joyful stream of caramel colored piss. both are imposers to the thrones that parched travellers are overjoyed to find in remote gas stations just short of the california/nevada border. alcohol does nothing to enhance the taste or palate posessed by either. diet pepsi or diet coke and both sink to the level of urinal and or gutter fodder once they are no longer cold. there is, however, the slight bonus of the caffeine content mixed into both of these corn syrup free contenders and hey, when you've got bad teeth, a cold diet soda is a cold diet soda.

#5-Diet 7up. if sweetened human urine were personified, diet seven up would easily sprint to the front of the line clamoring to be allowed to play the part. mixed with booze, diet seven up imparts a disappointing chicken-chested flavor of cheap whiskey, sweet and low mixed and fizzy water. this pathetic excuse for a soft drink becomes nauseating swill when warm, not unlike some sort of medicine mixed by a acid stoned witch doctor. it's not that great when served cold either, rest stop interstate five or no rest stop interstate five.

so that's it folks, my hopefully educational, entertaining, perhaps entertaining and highly opinionated Diet Soda Taste Test. maybe when the Tooth Woman and her KGB assistant get finished with me, i can go back to the good stuff!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

the orgasmatrain limited special edition 01.11.10 midnight to three


dcrpg/rovo--sino

KARUNA KHYAL--SIDE A

mccoy tyner--walk spirit, talk spirit
FELA KUTI--LADY
nurse with wound/stereolab--trippin' with the birds

rush--hemispheres
BAD DRUMLIN GRASS--THE EXPANDING UNIVERSE
loop guru--the third chamber

ATLAS SOUND--washington school


CAPS = CURRENT RELEASE

1st Hour

2nd Hour

3rd Hour

Friday, January 8, 2010

the orgasmatrain limited noon to 3 pm thursday 01.07.10


stanley clarke--life suite
REVERIE--IN EVERY WAY (GILLES PETERSON DIGS AMERICA)
THE TIJUANA PANTHERS--CREW CUT (GOLDEN HOUR BOX SET)
andromeda--let's all watch the sky fall down
the things--in your soul
THE NEW DAWN--DO WHAT YOU WANT TO

ted nugent--the great white buffalo
ELDER BECK--ROCK AND ROLL SERMON (FIRE IN MY BONES)
unknown--jesus and i go to hell
esquivel--you belong to my heart

SUBARACHNOID SPACE--LILITH
loop--be here now
WHITE RAINBOW--MONDAY BOOGIES FORWARD FOREVER
RAINBOW ARABIA--HOLIDAY IN CONGO
CHLL PLL--PASS OUT
OOIOO--UDA HAH
buffalo daughter--sky high
bailter space--tanker

GIFT OF GAB--SOME OF THE PEOPLE
the goats--wake n bake
THE CLONIUS--ONE AT A TIME
DAM FUNK--MIRRORS
united future organization--loud minority
hypnotic brass ensemble-ballicki bone

MIKE OLSON--INCIDENTAL 6
embryo--glockenspiel
victor lundberg--to the flower power
tomorrow--now your time has come

ATLAS SOUND--WASHINGTON SCHOOL

CAPS = CURRENT
parenthesis = compilation title

1st Hour

2nd Hour

3rd Hour

Monday, January 4, 2010

sunday in the park, 2006


tribe.net is fading...i posted hundreds of blogs over there between 2005 and 2008. they have to go somewhere. unfortunately, many of them have references to a certain ex girlfriend who has caused me no end of pain and misery...nothing we can do about that now, is there?

by the way, the mountain bike i mention in this post is now in the hands of another (hopefully) happy rider. i sold it at the end of 2008 due to the fact that i was dead broke...and tghe fact that a twenty eight pound dualie with a coil sprung front suspension and an air sprung rear shock is not the best combination for long, relatively smooth fire road climbs and descents.

PHOTO-the War Pig's head tube mounted calling card

JULIA BLIB BLIB is back to work in the tiny the army surplus store on haight street after taking two months off with her broken clavicle. that meant i'd have to fend for myself this fine sunny early january sunday afternoon, and i was determined NOT to sink my sorry ass into the sofa and waste the day away finding new ways of affecting the Buffalo Bills Four Super Bowl Revenge, or watching wild card pro football gmes broadcast live out of stadiums far, far away from the Flying Buffalo Ranch in san francisco.

the sky was too blue and the sun was too warm on my skin for any of that meatheaded noise.

no, i thought, i'll take the Dog Dick Red War Pig across the bridge for some off-road cycling fun. lord only knows how long its been since i've pedalled across the golden gate bridge on my own for a two hour self flagellation fest up and down the sometimes painfully steep two mile long fire roads in marin county. i knew, however after the first fifteen minutes on the bike that pounding out a twenty five mile route up over conzelman road, down into miwok stables via the old springs trail and back over the bobcat and marincello fire roads was going to be quite a challenge. my lungs and quads repeatedly asked me in pitiful whining tones why i did'nt pack another fat bowl, flip on the playstation and sink into my normal sunday afternoon maintenance stoner stupor.

i ignored the pain in my legs and my racing heart while i splashed though the mud puddles in the trails leading past the general's old house in the presidio.

over the crowded golden gate bridge i plodded on the War Pig, narrowly avoiding having my rather wide riser bars make contact with oblivious roadies on their expensive titanium and carbon fiber steeds, until i was chatting with my old friend bernie in the parking lot just to the north of the golden gate bridge. after shooting the shit for a few minutes with my old riding and racing buddy i turned the War Pig left on to conzelman road, and started the mile long journey up that tourist congested blacktop leading to the coastal trail, and High Speed Fire Road Heaven.

it's usually about a third of the way up conzelman that i begin to hit my groove on the twenty seven pound dual suspension War Pig-as i've passed my fortieth birthday and spend more time at home eating bacon wrapped pork loins with blib blib, i've noticed that my warm up time on the bike has increased considerably. at any rate, by the time i reached the Y intersection of the coastal fire trail and conzelman road, my legs and lungs were contentedly beating out a steady, humming tune from my meaty knobby tires.

lots of mountain bikers disdain the thrill of blasting own wide fire roads at high speeds-they say that there's no challenge in riding on a dirt fire road that's wide and smooth enough for the park police to drive their crown victorias on. those riders probably haven't spent a lot of time in marin county after a big winter rain storm, when the rainwater draining from the coastal mountains forms large ruts in the fire access roads, some of which are a foot and a half wide two feet deep and more often than not filled with cold, fast moving water. picking the right line on such fire roads requires skill and brains, and the consequences of making a bad choice might result in a helicopter rescue by the united states park service, which is often accompanied by a hefty bill.

how can anybody professing a love for all things human powered and two wheeled dismiss the sensation of high speed on any surface?

by the time i reached the bottom of the coastal trail, i was feeling very happy that i'd forsaken the carolina panthers, the high scoring and undefeated virtual buffalo bills and the play station. a quick break at the meadow at the southwest side of rodeo valley allowed me to recharge my batteries with gatorade, luna bars and fragrant herbs after which the War Pig and i set off to challenge the wide open fire roads of gerbode valley.

this is where i decided to cut about five miles out of my ride.

ascending paved roads on a twenty seven pound dual suspension rig equipped with a highly active coil spring suspension fork is one thing, but climbing wet, tacky dirt roads on the same rig is quite another. even though i was telling myself how great it was to be alone and in the beautiful green open hills of coastal california, the twenty five minute climb up the marincello fire road is always miserable for me. the ascent begins innocently enough out of the rodeo valley bordering the northern half of conzelman road, but soon becomes steep and criss crossed with treacherous rain ruts. three or four times i was forced to use the soft, wet outside lines to make room for riders who'd had the sense enough to ride the shorter, steeper miwok fire road into the stables. when i'd steer the war pig into these mushy lines, it felt as if my agressive 2.25 motoraptors had suddenly gone flat.

regardless of the relentless pain in my legs and a reluctant decision to shift the superlight into granny gear, i made it to the top of the ridge where the marincello and bobcat fire roads meet. my original destination of the picturesque miwok stables lay about two downhill miles away, but there was not a chance in hell that would be capabe of extending my range today another five miles given my current state of fitness. the stables with its picnic tables and porta potties would have to wait until another day, i thought, some sunday months in the future when i have built up my range and endurance with these two hour weekend excursions to the wind swept rock outcropping overlooking the sausalito marina.

now was the time to point the War Pig south again, back down the wide, smooth fire road i had used to make this first step in rekindling my love affair with the sport of mountain biking and as a tool to reduce my slowly expanding waist line. this was the part of the ride i loved best, the high speed balls out run back down into the rodeo valley, where the santa cruz War Pig charlie at vision cyclery sold me back in 2001 shows me why i paid almost a thousand dollars for a dog dick red full suspension mountain bike frame. back in the day when i rode rigid hardtails my magnetic bike computers had indicated i'd reached speeds of forty miles an hour wildly pedalling over these washboarded, dusty fire trails-i can only imagine that having four inches of suspension travel at each end of my bike fourteen years later only adds more velocity to what is already an exhilarating rate of speed on a bicycle.

all told, today i might have ridden about twenty miles this afternoon.

gee, i'm going to have to do this again next weekend, weather permitting.

watching pro football is a wonderful pastime, and whipping hapless opponents into whimpering little girlie men with the Playstation Bills is good old fashioned foot stomping fun, but nothing beats the thrill of pedalling the War Pig to breakneck speeds on the wide open fire roads that wind through the bare green coastal hills of southern marin county.

who knows, the sea otter classic is only a few months away.

i've got a few mountain bike racing medals stashed away somewhere...

a repost from tribe.net...exit the Seventeen Week Season of Hate


i AM a football fan, i ALWAYS HAVE BEEN a football fan and WILL ALWAYS BE a football fan.

even so, there is absolutely NO GOOD GODDAMNED REASON that i ought to be watching the patriots play whoever in the hell they're playing at six thirty five in the evening tonight. i wanted to watch the simpsons but what did i get? a halftime show, a halftime show in a fucking PRESEASON game, a contest in which i get to watch a rookie fifteenth string linebacker miss one tackle after the other.

here's a repost of a blog describing how i feel about pro football...

(August 15, 2005)

MORE HATING ON THE NFL AND ORGANIZED SPECTATOR SPORTS IN GENERAL

why, oh why in the name of Mighty Dog Christ do seventy seven THOUSAND mental midgets let the Neo Facist League shake them down for at least thirty five dollars or so to attend an EXHIBITION football game?

why?

that's your own hard cold cash snatched away from you by the hoary old greed mongers running the pro football racket. money you're paying to sit near the rim of shea stadium, or ford field or maybe even some rickety stone monument from the age of big hats like the field on which the ohio university bobcats in athens play. and since the exhibition season begins in the middle of august, you're probably suffering though the miserable farce of a game being passed off as professional football three hundred rows down in ninety five degree heat.

it's ninety five degrees, the lion's tenth and eleventh string is on the field against the chargers' never-going-to-make-the-team scrubs, and the san diego clings to a 10-3 lead with 3:19 left in the game. all of the scoring was in the first quarter while you were still grappling with the huge drunken thugs blocking the entrance of the stairwell leading to your skyscraper-level seats. both teams have done nothing but trade fumbles, interceptions and punts since then. the guy with the sickening B.O.sitting next to you is drunk, loud and obnoxious, and you're not sure if he is going to try to start a fight with you for no good goddamned reason.

thirty five bucks. at the least.

hell, i don't know, i've never been to a pro football game, nor do i have any intention of ever doing such an foolish thing.

i can picture a hundred or so things which i'd rather be doing on a balmy sunday afternoon here is san francisco than hanging around with a bunch of semi illiterate jocks wildly screaming at twenty-two plastic-clad steroid monsters trying to beat the living horse shit out of each other, under the sanction of law. the months of september, october and most of november are often bring fine, warm weather and clear skies to san francisco, and i don't want to waste days like that in a football stadium worried about whether or not the cross eyed inebriate behind me is going to vomit down on my back.

imagine another man's vomit soaking every stitch you're wearing on a ninety degree day. nice, huh?

nor do i want to sit inside in front of a television taking in this hyper violent madness. don't get me wrong, i loved to watch football of every description during my Formative Years, and remained a fan even into my late thirties. one freezing sunday evening in chillicothe, ohio i slammed my empty popcorn bowl at the television in rage when the niners stopped the bengal's pete johnson only inches from the goal line in 1981, then i moved to san francisco and joined the wild, joyful celebration in north beach after the niners dismantled the dolphins 38-16 for thier second world championship. when the buckeyes won the fiesta bowl in 1996 on a last second drive led by a sophomore quarterback to ease the pain of the michigan loss, (which denied the bucks of a chance at chance at a national title) i screamed and pumped my fist in the air like we'd WON the mythical championship.

we. huh.

that's how deep we let ourselves get sucked into the pockets of the money grubbing slicksters who run organised college and pro sports in america today-football, hockey, baseball and stock car racing. what are "we" doing on the field to help the team win? are "we" ridng shotgun with jimmy stewart, exhorting him to drive his team owner's chevy a little harder?!?

hell no, "we're" not!

it looks like my mind has begun to wander off on a few tangents all at once here. the next logical direction would be to attack the entire premise of Organized Sports in America today, which is simply to Collect Millions of Dollars from Unwitting Rubes and Simps. that's it, folks. americans of every persuasion in every state will pay hundreds and hundreds of millions, perhaps even billions to watch a multi-millionaire slap a curveball along the first base line, or to catch a pass in the corner of the end zone, or even crush a guy's rib cage with his helmet. there's a lot of really smart, greedy men who know this about us sports fans, and those folks are going to squeeze every goddamned dime they can from you. think about the beer companies, the fast food hustlers and the luxury sports car and SUV pimps, and you're and you're talking about a cash rich corporate orgy made in heaven. we'll sell our asses to satan to watch these athletes do what makes them pros, and pay him to buy our bungholes because we don't want to get up off the couch, or out of that cheap plastic ass-bucket seat in the oakland colisium to do it ourselves.

maybe seventy seven thousand somebodys might pay to watch fat middle aged men play a football game in the middle of mcallister street.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

another re post..."lots of my own words about people i love"



PHOTO--gordon burke, co founder and chief engineer of Radio Free Burning Man, a regular guy.


Lots of My Own Words about People I Love


Sat, September 24, 2005 - 1:43 PM


Does the man in the photo with the locomotive horns look like a yuppie or a hippie to you?

Now that Blib Blib and I have just about deflated our Playa Bubbles, it's time for me to have an objective look at certain aspects of the Burning Man festival, and how non-burners perceive the event. I guess my focus today will be on the people who I know personally who have made the six hour or so drive from San Francisco to that dried up prehistoric lakebed in the high desert of northern Nevada.

What I’m trying to do with the words I’m typing this morning is to dispel the popular notion amongst those who are ignorant of what happens every summer in black rock city that Burning Man is a wild hippy party in the desert, or worse yet, has been overrun by yuppies. Some of the blogs i've read written by a few of my online friends who are non burners seem to perpetuate such ill-informed misconceptions about the event. Let's take a look at a few of my real-world friends who are long time or new burners, and those of you who read this can decide if artists and writers like blib blib and john mosbaugh are hippies, yuppies or both.

Before we have a look at my friends, I'll have to make some sort of attempt at describing what i think yuppies and hippies are.

I've also decided just this second that any attempt at objectivity in this garbled nonsense i'm typing will be futile.

Yuppies are well educated (in relative terms) professionals (once again, in relative terms) between the ages of twenty one and forty. The people whom I call yuppies are generally highly compensated for the stultifying work they perform in what are probably corporate offices. Yuppies spend most of their time in their cubicles working and when they are not feverishly slaving away long hours in the office contriving ways of stealing money from working stiffs like me, yuppies scour the world high and low collecting material possessions like SUV's, overpriced road bikes and giant television sets. Yuppies have little appreciation for any sort of art or culture outside of what corporate mainstream american culture forces down their throats. Since the larger part of yuppies never deviated from the straight and narrow paths laid out for them by pedophile clergymen, ill paid teachers and corrupt professors, they're somewhat incapable of much of what i know as critical thought and tend to be somewhat bland in appearance. Yuppies generally seem to be concerned with only themselves and are somewhat oblivious to the rest of the world around them.

Most of the yuppies I see at Burning Man every year appear to feel out of place and don't look like they're having a very good time.

The perception I have of hippies is another story. Many of the hippies I've met anywhere are dirty and stupid. Lots of hippies dropped out of school because LSD, hourly marijauna smoking and educational values are mutually exclusive. Hippies espouse the quaint notion that necessities of life should be lovingly shared with them and that all of the worlds ills could be quickly and mystically healed with two tokes, an eyedropper and a hug. Since a lot of hippies are too lazy, stupid and stoned to hold even the most menial jobs, they sit around all day disjointedly pounding at tambourines and bongo drums while they beg passers by for food, money and drugs.


How hippies come by the money to buy tickets for Burning Man and make it to Nevada is beyond the realm of my comprehension. Panhandling enough cash for a trip to Black Rock City must be a year round endeavor for a dirty, lazy stupid mongrel hippie but thousands of them find a way to the playa. You’ll spot them from time to time skulking about center camp or wherever there’s something being given away, like booze or pancakes, vacant eyed and stinking of human filth and stale patchouli oil.

One hippie chick I met sported a real beard sprouting from her chin, and the filthiest feet I have ever witnessed on a person not claiming to be homeless.

Ok. Now that we’ve established what I think hippies and yuppies are, let’s have a look at a few of my burner friends who are neither smelly hippies nor greedy yuppies.

JOHN MOSBAUGH is a bearded man, but I cannot attest to the cleanliness of his feet. Mosbaugh has something or the other to do with computers for a living, I’m not sure what it is he does but Johnny doesn’t have what I consider a yuppie’s income. Moze drives a big, red seventies era Ford pickup and lives way out in the sunset district of San Francisco in an old house filled with his wife’s paintings, computers, books, a pool table covered with starter motors and assorted electro mechanical geegaws and in the back yard, the headless maiden/carousel numinous bar. Sometimes the garage out at what we affectionately refer to as the “birdsnest” resembles the set of “Sanford and Son”. Johnny’s computer is filled with all sort of strange music and colorful stories, some of which you read right here on tribe. I’m pretty sure John jumps into the shower every day, but once Mosbaugh washes his armpits out and brushes his teeth, one can never be sure what will happen.

Mosbaugh lives on the edge of life sometimes, and on the rare instances Johnny starts to slip away over that edge, some really cool, fun shit often goes off.

‘Ol Johnny works hard, and he lives hard. Mosbaugh is real, folks, he’s about as real as the mold he broke when he was born. He’s not a hippie or a yuppie and everyone who knows him will tell you the same.

John Mosbaugh went to Burning Man this summer for what I think was his seventh time.

Those of us who have had the pleasure of hanging out with GORDON BURKE know that he’s not a hippie or a yuppie, either. Gordon has pretty much single handedly transported and constructed Radio Free Burning Man from a storage unit in Empire, Nevada and his home near San Jose for something like ten years now. I think that Gordon works in the purchasing department of the San Jose public library, but like Mosbaugh, I’m almost certain that Gordon is not raking in giant, tumbling balls of cash every two weeks doing what he does for a living. I’ve never seen Gordon Burke wear a suite and tie, nor have I ever seen Gordon in any kind of costume on the playa. Gordon Burke is a jeans and t-shirt kind of regular guy, with a taste and a knack for the bizarre and quirky things in life.

Erecting a twelve foot high by thirty foot long and ten foot wide building in the hot Nevada sun is miserable, hard work. So is raising a fifty foot radio tower, and taking it all down. Gordon has been known to spend a week on the playa eating nothing but canned schlarve and whiskey.

Gordon Burke has done these things at Burning Man every year for at least the past ten years, often on his own, and mostly with his hard earned money. Hardly the actions of attitudes we’d expect from hippies and yuppies.

JENNY BIRD is Johnny Mosbaugh’s wife. I met jenny Bird because I was madly infatuated with her big sister many years ago, but that story has nothing to do with this story, so we’ll leave it. What I know about Jenny is that she is a gloriously talented artist, and how she courageously suffered though years of having next to nothing, like many artists so often have to. My opinion is that given the combination of Jenny’s otherworldly artistic talent and the bedrock goodness and sensibility of her personality, her world is finally coming together in a big way. Jenny’s name is becoming to be very well known in the world of artists and forward thinking persons, and her work was prominently featured at each of the entrances to the funhouse making up the foundation of the man this year. The Burning Man Festival does not often showcase the work of talented painters but Jenny’s paintings from 2003’s Carousel Numinous along with her stunning work found on the playa this year has perhaps inspired artists who work with canvas and brush to create works to bring along with them to Burning Man 2006.

I’ve known Jenny Bird since 1997, give or take a year. Jenny is the farthest thing from a yuppie of hippie I can imagine. I think Jenny Bird has come to Burning Man five times since 1998.

Last but not least in my attempt to squash the false assertion that Burning Man has been ruined by hippies, yuppies and ravers will be a description of my wonderful girlfriend, JULIA BLIB BLIB MAZAWA. Julia lives with me at the Flying Buffalo Ranch here in San Francisco, and all she heard me talk about the long months between April and August was Things Burning Man. Julia has a BA in studio arts from Bard College in upstate New York, which might qualify her for yuppie status, but true to what could be hippie form, she has not conveyed her so-called validated ticket to success into a high powered job in the corporate art industry. Blib Blib works, however, she toils her days away week after week at a tiny little army surplus store on Haight street. Hippies don’t like to work, nor do hippies like anything to do with the military or wars, so Julia Blib Blib cannot be considered a hippie. Yuppies will look at Julia’s degree from Bard and wonder why she wasted away four years of her young life earning what is an essentially useless document as applied to finding a job providing what a spoon-fed yuppie clone might consider a decent income.

Blib Blib came with me to Burning Man this summer. 2005 was her first year on the playa, and hopefully not her last. Blib Blib got to broadcast her own voice and music over the airwaves via Radio Free Burning Man for the first time in her life along with finding an opportunity to fly high above Black Rock City in an airplane, taking lots of pictures along the way. Not bad for my cute little half-breed honey whose only previous knowledge of Burning Man were the outlandish stories she’d heard about the yuppies, the hippies and the drugs.

I hope that after those of you who have never been to Burning Man before read these little capsules about my friends, you might realize that there are thousands of people like me, with thousands of friends like mine, who pack up a vehicle and drive or fly to that prehistoric lakebed nestled between the jagged mountain peaks of northern Nevada every August. We’re not hippies, nor are we yuppies, some of us are freaks and misfits, but we’re not dumb and dirty flower children, nor are we all money crazed workaholics looking to take a break from the real world in the desert.

Yes, you will find lots hippies and yuppies in Black Rock City but not so many that they dominate the vibe of the playa.

How would Blib Blib and I blow up our Magic Playa Bubbles if we were so busy dealing with droopy eyed druggies and Katie Kitties?

Here’s to the forty thousand Good People of Black Rock City, Nevada. We look forward to seeing you all next year, John and Jenny, Gordon and Max, Stinky Pits, Spliff Skankin, Tiya, Big E, and let’s not forget, Terry, The Man Who Lives in a Desert Shack.

We’ll drive with our lights on, day and night, just to be safe.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

burning dreams


originally posted at tribe.net on 17 Aug, 2008

IT’S ABOUT THAT TIME OF AUGUST in San Francisco again. I can feel it in my bones here at the Flying Buffalo Ranch. The fog and wind swirl around the cracking branches of an ancient lemon tree behind my aqua green Behavioral Pit here in the City of Saint Francis, the Savior Saint, our City of Sanctuary.

The trip to Black Rock City was my annual respite from the realities of waking up day in and day out of what we Burners describe as “The Default World”. Sure, living in what most Americans who exist in the profit and wealth driven pisshole of consumeristic society describe as “Sodom in the North” isn’t a bad place to spend the remaining eleven months of the year away from from our weeklong utopia in the Freak Kingdom but even so, San Francisco is still a large city. Life here means dealing with the same wretched realities of uban existence as our friends and cousins everywhere else in the United States…noise, congestion, rudeness and many, many forms of crime and nastiness—the side effects of confining seven hundred and fifty thousand brutish primates into a patch of land surrounded by salt water on three sides.

I’ve been to the playa as a short time participant eight times since 1999-I call myself a short time participant due to the fact that I’m not one of the crusty “Feral People” who spend months prior to and following the event in the desert building and dismantling the city’s infrastructure. I’ve never spent more than nine consecutive days on in Black Rock City. Even so, each three to six day plunge into the joyous mayhem of that semi-primitive temporary desert metropolis left me with the memory of profound experiences that kept me starry eyed and babbling…and making preparations year round for each return trip to Nevada.

No wonder I have dreams about the Burning Man Festival all year round.

My friends Joe and Greg were with me in my last Burning Man Dream and one of the details that has stayed with me from this REM experience from a week and a half or so ago is that the Burning man Festival was now housed in a gigantic stadium. The monsterous structure was decorated with every variety of blinking, pulsating lights you could think of and was still situated just off of highway 34 on the Black Rock Desert, but it was still a goddamned football stadium. When I woke up that morning, I wondered if the association with what was once the high point of every summer for me in my dreams with something as dull and mainstream as professional football was a reflection of the rapid growth of the event. Even though the population of Black Rock City was in the mid to high twenty thousands during my first visit in 1999, the number of participants reached close to forty thousand (if not over that number) on Saturday of my last trip to Burning Man in 2006.

That’s almost doubled. My perception in 2006 was that fifteen thousand more wild eyed drug addled alcoholic lunatic misfits, whether they be tattooed and pierced red state rejects or frat boys named Chad and Olly makes a BIG DIFFERENCE in the vibe of the city. It seemed to me that during the Friday and Saturday before the burn in ’06, there wasn’t anywhere on the playa one could go without being within twenty five yards of another human being. My girlfriend at the time and i found it difficult to find a spot to share an intimate moment that year on the open playa outside the crescent of the city, something that was relatively easy to do during 1999 and 2000.

This is not to say that I’m one of those old hairy groaners who complain in gruff tones about what the Burning Man Festival Used to Be. I love standing in Black Rock City and watching the DPW parade work its way around the playa and I love sitting behind the microphone at Radio Free Burning Man and providing the twisted, eclectic soundtrack to that strange procession even more. Maybe its just that over the past two trips to and from Nevada that the long three to seven hour lines waiting to get in and out of the event have become just too much for me to deal with.

Last year, my ex and I went camping with a small group of burners at a big state park just south of Mt Shasta and were speeding down I-5 back towards San Francisco and the Default World in a matter of minutes.

I’m probably not going to come back to Burning Man this summer. That will make it two years in a row I will have been someplace other than Black Rock City Nevada following eight consecutive years of annually refreshing my spirit, soul and creative energy on the playa. Julia Blib Blib was a major factor in my decision not to buy tickets to the event in 2008—we’d probably had either gone camping again or stayed home on the coming Labor Day weekend if we were still living together. Julia made the last two trips with me to the playa in 2005 and ’06 but the twenty hour odyssey from camp to driveway the last time was too much for her and she vowed “enough was enough” At any rate, I have mixed feelings about not being on the playa for a second year in succession—a large part of my identity, energy and heartfelt love was invested into being a Burner and now it seems like that is all going to change, maybe forever.

But those odd Burning Man dreams still keep coming from time to time, and that’s what makes me wonder.

Do I NEED to spend most of each year thinking about and preparing for a short term experience in a dusty, wind swept community where openness and radical freedom of expression are the norm seeking my spiritual and creative renewal—or can I somehow find a way to live out my own special version of the Burning Man Festival right here in San Francisco?

Time will tell.

Meanwhile, the wind is still whining through the branches of our lemon tree behind the Behavioral Pit. The apples and pears will be ready at just about the time the Freak Caravan begins to creep its stoned, glassy eyed way through Wadsworth, Nixon and Empire on the 447 day and night on that last fine weekend of August.

I’ll probably be here alone in the Default World wishing I was there.

the Mind Control Division


DISCLAIMER--- TO ALL FBI, DEA, CSI, CHP, SFPD AND LLOYD'S OF LONDON INSURANCE FRAUD INVESTIGATORS--ALL MATERIALS CONTAINED HEREIN ARE HUMOROUS SCRIBBLINGS INTENDED FOR THE SOLE ENTERTAINMENT AND ARTISTIC EXPRESSION OF THE WRITERS AND RECIPIENTS.

travelers on major highways will find State Stabbing Stations at predetermined mileage’s, located in weigh stations and seedy roadside rests whenever possible. A fleet of high performance patrol cars operated by the State Stabbing Patrol will cruise the nation's streets and highways, selecting vehicles at random to be escorted to the nearest State Stabbing Station.

once the drivers and passengers of the vehicles are arrive at the Stabbing Station they are stripped naked and injected with a heavy dose of methamphetamine, the occupants of the cars, busses and trucks detained by the State Stabbing Patrol will be issued five inch steak knifes and placed into large corrals in groups of fifty. at a predetermined signal, these hapless individuals will be compelled by now society mind control devices to commence stabbing one another in a methamphetimin-fueled bloodbath. when the carnage is complete, the survivors will be placed on the RattlesnakeTrains and be given Special Assignments with the Now Society Bureau of Mining and Energy located at the terminus of each rail line.

an important component of the now society will emphasize mind control.

the Division of Psychology will employ methods of mind control that have generally been frowned upon in western cultures and by ultra liberals. now society technicians assigned to the Division of Psychology will be given free reign to give random subjects frontal lobotomies and or near-fatal doses of hallucinogens and naturally occurring toxins. citizens in carefully selected urban areas will be subject to sudden abductions by specially trained "yoo hoo" squads who will transport those unfortunate individuals away to hidden desert laboratories where they will become the unwilling subjects in special experiments involving intense sexual abuse.

the mind control methods employed by the now society in conjunction with the iron hand of the corrections department will achieve the effect of keeping a larger part of the population in a constant state of fear and disorientation. the now society will take control of television and radio networks throughout the world in order to broadcast messages which will cause the viewers and listeners unspeakably agonizing pain. the messages, which have been carefully developed by the world's most talented and industrious scientists, will become one of the most feared tools of the mind control division of the department of Psychology because ALL citizens of the now society will be FORCED to watch or listen to these broadcasts for at least ten hours each day. the times during which citizens will be compelled to watch or listen to these programs will of course, be chosen at random. little can be said regarding these state-sponsored broadcasts except that they are all repulsive and horrible to an heart-rending extreme.

the mind control division will operate at the pleasure of the Dictator of Now. psychological domination will always be used by the Dictator of Now, along with swift punishment for one's transgressions, either as perceived or in fact, to indelibly stamp the will of the Dictator of Now on greater global society until the end of time.

the KUSF top 30 as played on the orgasmatrain 01.01.10 3-6 PM



we had an injury on the team this new year's day morning at KUSF, so i volunteered to detour the orgasmatrain to the last third of our annual top 90.3 countdown. it turns out that i wasn't very familiar with much of the music the rest of the jocks at KUSF are burning the laser reading pits out of eighteen hours a day in studio A...i wonder what that means?

here's your playlist of the individual tracks that i played this afternoon. the music department will have a list compiled soon which will surely include the names of the CDs and albums, which i don't write down on my playlists. it'll be available at www.kusf.org...and the audio of the entire day which featured sleeves on hearts DJ irwin, DJ stereo steve and myself is probably being edited by bryan chandler as i type...find it at www.kusfarchives,com

happy new year, everyone!


30) vivan girls--the end
29) deerhunter--forgot to log track name :(
28) the gris gris--year zero

27) ty segall--ms white/and judy just walked in
26) cause cro motion--don't you know
25) mars--hairwaves
24) the rippers--just for one day
23) the fresh and onlys--fog machine
22) the vaselines--you think you're a man
21) yo la tengo--and the glitter is gone

20) mystery girls--i took the poison
19) the puddle--i've lost my way in this world
18) blank dogs--night night
17) strange boys--this girl taught me a dance
16) apache--crystal clear

15) black moth super rainbow--iron lemonade
14) grizzly bear--dory
13) mirah--while we have the sun
12) waves--california goths
11) waves--waves
10) death--politicians in my eyes

9) sonic youth--anti orgasm
8) wooden shjips--motorbike
7) vetiver--strictly rule
6) juana molina--no llama

5) black lips--again & again
4) king khan and the shrines--the ballad of lady godiva
3) the love me nots--i'm the one
2) animal collective--my girls

1) the oh sees--destroyed fortress reappears/the turn around

7th Hour

8th Hour

9th Hour