the Mind Control Division

DISCLAIMER--- TO ALL FBI, DEA, CSI, CHP, SFPD AND LLOYD'S OF LONDON INSURANCE FRAUD INVESTIGATORS--ALL MATERIALS CONTAINED HEREIN ARE HUMOROUS SCRIBBLINGS INTENDED FOR THE SOLE ENTERTAINMENT AND ARTISTIC EXPRESSION OF THE WRITERS AND RECIPIENTS.

travelers on major highways will find State Stabbing Stations at predetermined mileage’s, located in weigh stations and seedy roadside rests whenever possible. A fleet of high performance patrol cars operated by the State Stabbing Patrol will cruise the nation's streets and highways, selecting vehicles at random to be escorted to the nearest State Stabbing Station.

once the drivers and passengers of the vehicles are arrive at the Stabbing Station they are stripped naked and injected with a heavy dose of methamphetamine, the occupants of the cars, busses and trucks detained by the State Stabbing Patrol will be issued five inch steak knifes and placed into large corrals in groups of fifty. at a predetermined signal, these hapless individuals will be compelled by now society mind control devices to commence stabbing one another in a methamphetimin-fueled bloodbath. when the carnage is complete, the survivors will be placed on the RattlesnakeTrains and be given Special Assignments with the Now Society Bureau of Mining and Energy located at the terminus of each rail line.

an important component of the now society will emphasize mind control.

the Division of Psychology will employ methods of mind control that have generally been frowned upon in western cultures and by ultra liberals. now society technicians assigned to the Division of Psychology will be given free reign to give random subjects frontal lobotomies and or near-fatal doses of hallucinogens and naturally occurring toxins. citizens in carefully selected urban areas will be subject to sudden abductions by specially trained "yoo hoo" squads who will transport those unfortunate individuals away to hidden desert laboratories where they will become the unwilling subjects in special experiments involving intense sexual abuse.

the mind control methods employed by the now society in conjunction with the iron hand of the corrections department will achieve the effect of keeping a larger part of the population in a constant state of fear and disorientation. the now society will take control of television and radio networks throughout the world in order to broadcast messages which will cause the viewers and listeners unspeakably agonizing pain. the messages, which have been carefully developed by the world's most talented and industrious scientists, will become one of the most feared tools of the mind control division of the department of Psychology because ALL citizens of the now society will be FORCED to watch or listen to these broadcasts for at least ten hours each day. the times during which citizens will be compelled to watch or listen to these programs will of course, be chosen at random. little can be said regarding these state-sponsored broadcasts except that they are all repulsive and horrible to an heart-rending extreme.

the mind control division will operate at the pleasure of the Dictator of Now. psychological domination will always be used by the Dictator of Now, along with swift punishment for one's transgressions, either as perceived or in fact, to indelibly stamp the will of the Dictator of Now on greater global society until the end of time.